The Birds and the Beasts
by Caprichoso
Summary: A compendium of BB/Rob one-shots ranging from mild, slashy hints to hot and heavy action. Fluff and angst will likely abound as this goes on. Slash, BBRob.
1. The Walk Home

**AN:** Once again, Kasumy-Chan woke up the ficmonster with something on Tumblr: this time, a drawing of hers. It's the cover of this story, but it's absolutely worthwhile to go see the full sketch dump on her Tumblr.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Titans or Kasumy-Chan's drawing talent. This makes me sad.

**Warning: sorta-kinda-maybe-slash ahead!**

**—**

**The Walk Home **

**—**

"Whennerr's trubble you know whooot'call…" The gravelly baritone echoed through the alleyway, bouncing from wall to wall as a pair of wayward superheroes stumbled their way home.

"Nananah. Don't say that." Robin held up a stern finger in the air, other hand resting on Beast Boy's ribcage to hold the changeling steady. "Official team leader rule. They better not call us till late, _late_ tomorrow. Preferably like in a week."

At that, the green boy dissolved into a fit of giggles, and Robin was forced to grab his wrist and brace to keep them both from falling to the ground. The Boy Wonder was doing far better in the coordination department than his companion; he'd chalk it up to the acrobatics, but that would be ignoring the fact that for every two drinks he'd had, Gar had plowed through three.

"C'mon, Gar, keep it together jus' a little. Yer too heavy to carry."

"Hey, _you_ called me a ninety-pound wuss."

Robin snorted. "That was like five years ago, Beast Boy."

After a moment of consideration, the changeling gave a dismissive wave. "Eh. Don' argue with me when'm drunk. I'll always prove ya wrong."

Any other time, Dick might have pursued that to see where it led… but not now. Right now he was having enough trouble just keeping them both on a course toward the Tower.

Minutes passed in companionable silence punctuated by the occasional belch from one of them. Predictably, Beast Boy spoke first, holding the bottle in his hand at arm's length as he unsuccessfully tried to focus on it. "Y'know, I never went to a bar b'fore t'night, but I thought you couldn' take al'c'hol out, right? Did I jus' break the law?"

A chuckle shook Robin. "Beast Boy, that's a water bottle. If you keep a water bottle sealed till yer…" He hiccuped. "Yer out the door, it's all good. Least in California. I think."

The changeling nodded sagely. "Cool. No jail for me."

"Nope… I made sure to ask the bartender an' make sure it was okay. Yer good."

"My hero." Gar shifted his weight, and his other arm wrapped around Robin's neck. As the Boy Wonder turned to see what was going on, a pair of green lips collided with his.

There was a moment of pure shock, followed by an instinctual response. Tongues met and swirled around each other, and as fanged teeth gently captured his lower lip, Robin let out a deep, resounding moan.

They jerked away from each other, and half a second later, Garfield tripped over his own feet as he stepped backwards, butt making contact with the pavement. He didn't even wince; just sat there, wide-eyed. "Dude," he whispered, "Did we jus'… Oh man. I was totally jus' goin' f'r a peck onna cheek!"

Robin had no words, so he simply nodded and tried to resist the insane urge to run his tongue over his lips.


	2. Kitchen Counter

**AN:** This one came out of Kasumy-Chan's prompt of "Kitchen Counter" on Tumblr. The rest... well, of course I'm going to let the boys get into trouble.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them, and I bet DC's glad of that right now.

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**Kitchen Counter**

—

"Too… tight…" Garfield squeaked from between gritted teeth.

Robin ran a reassuring hand along the green boy's leg. "I know, I know. Just relax, or it'll feel worse. Let's use a little more olive oil, okay?"

The glass bottle was tipped up, the pour spout delivering a generous gush of yellow liquid, which was then applied by an already-slick finger.

After a few seconds, Beast Boy was breathing a bit easier. "Okay," he said, gravelly voice shaking, "I think I'm ready to try again."

The Boy Wonder nodded. "All right. You stay still and just concentrate on relaxing, and I'll do the work." With this, he began applying firm but gentle force, rocking back and forth slowly.

Labored breathing and soft sounds let him know that Garfield was trying his best to stay quiet despite the sensation; he continued his ministrations, knowing eventually it would yield the desired result.

In a matter of a few short minutes, a resounding groan rumbled out of Beast Boy's mouth, and the payoff robin had been hoping for arrived. Liquid spilled out over both boys, onto the kitchen counter, onto the floor below them.

Panting, Beast Boy held up his throbbing finger. "Thanks, Rob," he murmured in relief.

"No problem," he replied, making a futile attempt to wipe balsamic vinegar from his uniform. "Next time, though, when I tell you not to stick your finger someplace, pay attention."

"Noted, dude." Garfield rocked from side to side on the counter, grin fading. "Uh, so… do you think we can maybe… handle the whole flour and water gluing my butt to the counter thing now?"

A smirk crawled onto Robin's face, and he sidled up to the helpless boy, placing his hands on either side of his trapped legs. "Nah, I kind of like this. It's a good way to keep track of you." Having experienced a recent growth spurt, Robin was now at a very convenient height to capture Gar's lips with his own.

Time dilated, and they pulled away from the kiss with dreamy expressions. Robin reached up to cup Garfield's cheek…

Or would have if he could move his hands, which were now stuck to the same counter as Beast Boy's legs.

"Crap," he muttered, searching for a way out of the situation. His and Gar's utility belts and gloves were sitting on the other end of the counter, well out of reach.

Their eyes met in tacit confirmation of one another's suspicions: they were well and truly stuck.

"So… who do we call?" Beast Boy asked, a nervous grin on his face.

"Cyborg will tease us and send pictures to the whole network, but he'll at least let us loose. Raven will probably say it's our own fault and walk away to teach us a lesson. That leaves…" He gulped. "Starfire."

Garfield cringed. "Are our eardrums up to it?"

"They'll have to be. The question is, are our egos up to hearing how adorable we look together?"

The green boy gave him a little smile. "I guess we can handle that."


End file.
